CONCLUDING.

.

My Augustana running career ended in so many places.

Technically, you could say it ended May 15, 2021, when I ran my last race in the golden AU uniform. Or in June of that same year, when the injury that unknowingly ended it all occurred. Or a random Monday on campus⁠—just under three weeks ago⁠—when I was told verbatim that I would not be racing outdoor track.

Post 1K opener in 2021

But officially, finally, resolutely, it ended today. May 14, 2022. The last day of the last chance I would have had to compete for Augie one last time.

Plain and simple, the whole thing sucked. Injuries suck. Working really hard to rehab from injury and still being forced to delay the comeback sucks. So much time and effort is required of you, and there is no guaranteed time table. You’re at the mercy of your body and what it can handle.

Practice sophomore year, 2019.

And sometimes, it just can’t handle everything you throw at it. Over various moments of my rehab, I thought I could do it. I thought I was in shape. I was able to attempt a few introductory workouts. And then I would get super excited and start dreaming of this absolutely amazing comeback that I knew I could have.

Other days, I’d decide racing wasn’t in the cards; I was too out of shape, too unused to testing my limits, too pained by my leg.

Unfortunately, those were the days that won out. Immediately after I was told I wouldn’t compete, I cried and complained and felt all around bad for myself. But I can’t begrudge the decision. It was made with my best interest in mind. It was quite frankly the smart move, but I was just too swept up in my daydreams of the perfect comeback to make the call myself.

The freshman XC girls in 2018.

So I can’t call it a comeback . . . yet.

And that yet is so important.

I might not have gotten the fairy tale, ESPN comeback story that every injured athlete dreams of. But I still made a lot of progress. I developed new relationships, learned how to swim really well, and had a lot of new experiences I would not have otherwise had. I still love running. I’m excited to celebrate the small steps I’ve taken⁠—like running my first workout in 11.5 months! And, thankfully, I’m still going to be competing next year, just not in the golden uniform.

In the midst of this horrible thing, those are a few of the many good things. I would not be the person I am today had I not gone through every part of the last year. And I kind of like the person I am today.