REDISCOVERING JOY

It’s been 76 days since I last posted.

Hiking Mt. Bierstad was one of the “joy projects” I undertook this summer, instead of dragging myself through blogging.

Someone may want to check my math on that, but the point is, it has been a long time since this blog was active. Because 76 days? That truly is a gaping absence for my blog. At first, I aimed to post once a week. It was easy in the initial stages – for class, weekly posts were a requirement. But then. . . the summer dragged on. Planning blog posts, editing those, and then publishing them just didn’t seem appealing anymore.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have time. Between the coronavirus quarantine and my unfortunate lack of internship opportunities, my days were sparse. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to put words on the page.

So I let myself go. Let my blog go.

At first, I was a bit miffed at my lack of motivation. I’d never really had writer’s block before. And my inability to do seemed limited to just this blog. I did everything else –  ran killer workouts in preparation for our cancelled season, biked for longer than I ever had before, and engaged in quality time at home. In fact, I even typed up 290 pages of writing (something I’d been begging myself to do for a long while – more on that at a later date potentially (hopefully)!).

No matter what I did, though, this blog stayed silent. I was at a loss.

I also spent a lot more time biking in my blog-less quarantine.

And then I realized – my loss on this platform was my gain everywhere else.

Instead of devoting time to suffering through something I just didn’t feel like doing, I focused on the things I did want to do.

I found other areas of interest: I biked 30 miles, I spent time on the trails I love to run, and I focused on finishing –  or at least starting – the things on my bucket list.

It wasn’t dread or responsibility or duty that guided me through my free time but JOY!

I listened to what I wanted to do and, within reason, did that. Never before had I felt so free and excited for every opportunity the future might hold. I was at my most productive because I stopped worrying about the restrictions and the deadlines I placed on myself and instead, did what I loved.

So yeah, this 76-odd day span without a blog is gaping and long. But it was also freeing and exciting and reinvigorating. It was exactly what I needed this summer.

It was all about rediscovering the things that bring me joy.